When I tell lies...

If you think my nose is funny, you should see me dance!

Putting Things Into Perspective

Science estimates that Earth is 4.5 billion years old. Human "civilization" as we know it is approximately 5,000 years old. If you scaled everything to fit into a 24 hour period and watched a film of the history of the Earth -- a 24 hour long film operating at 25 frames per second -- the scene of human civilization would barely occupy the last, single frame of film.

Emotional Detox

"Marriage is a fine institution, if you like living in an institution..."

I forget who originally said that (Groucho Marx, perhaps?) but I actually enjoyed life in the institution. It now seem though, like other mental patients around the country, the institution is closed and I'm out of the street again, wandering lonely as a cloud... (Thank-you William Wordsworth)

The weird thing is, after nearly twenty years to the day, I don't seem to feel anything about this. Perhaps I'm autistic? Mrs P once said I showed all the symptoms, though I don't recall ever sitting silently in a corner, nodding my head, and obsessively plucking lint from my navel. Perhaps she meant it as a compliment? She did qualify her statement with the word mild, but still. Maybe she meant it in the context of Autistic Savant. I do have an extraordinary memory for things like the names of people I've met, an eye for patterns, and I'm a talented musician and composer, albeit it a bit of an underachiever, so I'm comfortable with the genius label. But Autistic Savant conjurs images of Dustin Hoffman in Rainman and, well, I'm a hell of a lot taller than Dustin Hoffman. The age difference (6 years) between me and Mrs P might have made her something of my Mrs Robinson, but I digress.

They were twenty long, miserable years...

They were twenty years of the most heavenly bliss...

It was love at first sight. We first met on a blind date, got engaged four months later and were married within a year. I was totally and utterly enchanted with her and, though we had our ups and downs over the years, I thought we were happily married. At least, I know I was happily married but it seems Mrs P wasn't. More's the fool me for not checking on that more often.

In hindsight, I should have taken the advice of a friend way back when who once said, "before you marry anybody, take a long, hard look at her mother because in twenty years time, that's what your wife will be." I thought he was joking. Seriously though, it's not as if Mrs P ever became just like her mother though that dragon woman spent all her waking moments vandalizing our marriage and ultimately, I guess it became as much the emotional black hole for Mrs P as it did for me.

The nuptual holocaust came the Eighth Day of Christmas, 2005. The irony of this is I had anticipated 2006 (a numerological "8" year) as one that promised much good fortune, as per the Chinese belief in the magic of the number 8. I'll be turning 44 later this year -- another 8 in numerological terms. For my last birthday, I got myself a tattoo of a tiger that I had wanted for many years because it's my Chinese astrological sign and, in keeping with my superstitions for 2006, I (only half seriously at the time) imagined it would keep me safe from evil spirits, such as my mother-in-law. Alas, it appears now as if the Chinese voodoo worked on Mrs P as well, much to my chagrin.

I've never been much of a keeper of diaries, but this blog might prove interesting, if not entirely cathartic. If nothing else, I suppose it gives me something constructive to do rather than be out there, climbing wheat silos and going crazy with a high-powered rifle.

In the meantime, I've decided to just take things as they come. This isn't exactly any profound attitude change on my part as serendipity has always been a cornerstone of any philosophical bent I might have had, or still have. I'm also of the opinion that a person can't change the past or invent the future, but that the only time over which we have any control is now. To that end, I'm putting the lyric of one of my favorite jazz tunes into practice: "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again."

Yeah.

Intro-juicing Mister Pervert

It's said the past has a way of becoming the present and the present, the future. That being the case, it looks like I'm doomed for all eternity to be a pervert. Oh, woe is me!

What kind of a pervert am I really?

The physical manifestations of my kinks are fairly unremarkable, I think. Above all, I'd probably confess I'm a voyeur more than anything, though I'm not averse to creating scenes I like either personally or by proxy with the help of other pervy friends. It could be said I "Top from the side". In this sense, I see myself more as a Ringmaster than Lion Tamer or Clown, though I enjoy those roles too in equal measure.

I love to see women in bondage and restraints -- my favorites being simple rope or silk scarf bondage and pillories. It's the function of the restraints rather than any BDSM aesthetic that appeals to me. I also have a big thing for blindfolds, but I'll expand on that below.

Insofar as spanking and other corporeal punishments go, I'm also fairly pedestrian in nature. I love the intimacy of giving over-the-knee spankings but I'm just as happy to have no physical contact at all with the spankee beyond the paddle, cane or crop (in that order of preference). Whatever the scenario, I'm not a particularly hard hitter physically. I love discipline for the way it can stir the mind of a woman rather than for any desire to cause pain.

This is also my philosophy when it comes to tortures. I could be as sadistic as the next pervert if I wanted to. Being cruel comes easy, but it's not particularly interesting to me on an intellectual level and thus an activity I reserve for vanillas who are stupid and deserving of subtle cruelties being inflicted on them.

Within the scene, my preference is for women who have very low thresholds to pain. To paraphrase Dr Hannibal Lecter, I love petty torments or tortures that are more annoying than straightout painful. I also love the way a sudden and unexpected shock can instantly summon a flood of mixed reactions in a woman's mind. I love the look of surprise rather than anguish on a woman's face. It's especially arousing if it comes painted with the red flush of embarrassment and the bright sparkle of the laughter borne of outrage.

As with my thoughts about discipline above, I believe a good torture session is more about the anticipation of what might happen rather than what ultimately happens.

I view humiliation as a companion kink to my voyeurism and thus part of the cornerstone of my perversions. Again, my interests aren't in women who might revel in heavy humiliation scenes, whether verbal or physical. Rather, I am intrigued by those who outwardly present as sweetly timid and innocent but can be cajoled, if the right buttons are pushed, into activities they'd never choose to do without that coercion. I'm not one of those perverts who has any desire to convert anybody. Obviously, conversions from one set of thinking to another are always bound to happen when you start fooling around with a woman's morals or whatever you want to call them. But I'm always striving to maintain her original perception of innocence so that that fall from grace each time it happens in a scene can always be the highest possible dive. Ah, the rush of freefall...

As you might have guessed if you've read this far, my physical kinks are relatively ordinary. I tend to joke around a lot in both public and private play because BDSM at a physical level is just an extension of sex for me, and I've always regarded sex as pure fun. Because of this there is often a perception that I don't take BDSM seriously. I also don't adhere to any of the strict protocols of BDSM engagement (honorific titles and D/s rituals, etc.) and this often confuses people who don't know me. This isn't to say I can't play that game, but that's all it is to me -- a game -- and admitting that can be seen as a kind of heresy by some people.

Where I do get serious is when I start to get inside a woman's head. I'm especially attracted to intelligent women who aren't one-dimensional about their kinks or life in general. I have the patience of a pebble when it comes to getting what I want and in fact, I tend not to respect/appreciate/trust a person who is willing to just lie down and surrender their soul to me. Far more exciting is the woman whose mind is like a labyrinth that potentially holds hidden an Aladdin's treasure trove of perverse delights.

Among my secondary perverse diversions are photography and writing. The photography shouldn't be a surprise -- wht voyeur doesn't enjoy pictures of maidens in distress, especially ones he has photographed himself. I take my photography quite seriously and consider myself to have quite an artistic eye and flair for it.

I also enjoy writing -- a lot. A lot of people poo-poo the idea of purely online relationships but for me, they represent a kind of Victorian age of romance, albeit with a kink bent. There are many people who liken D/s to a journey and writing appeals to my innate desire to move slowly on whatever paths I take. For me, it's honestly the case I prefer the journey to the destination and writing enables me to create the most complete landscape in which to travel.

I especially enjoy writing BDSM fiction that blurs the line between the worlds of fantasy and reality. Each world on its own is enjoyable, but my favorite personal headspace is that place between the two -- sort of like between sleep and awake, where you can still remember dreaming.

As you might deduce from everything, I have ecclectic tastes and a vorocious appetite for many things. I am completely open to both real time and online relationships, whether purely social or with a view to play or more. I am also unconcerned by your location, either within Australia or outside of it. Whatever the case, if anything here piques your interest, please feel free to write and say "hi". Otherwise, I wish you happy trails and hope you find whatever it is you seek.

The Sagittarian Factor

This list grew out of the fact that Beethoven and me share the same birthdate (December 16, although he's 192 years older than me). It turns out that quite a few of my favorite composers and performers are also Sagittarians. Make of that whatever you like...

Beethoven, Ludwig van (December 16, 1770 - March 26, 1827)
Berlioz, Hector (December 11, 1803–March 8, 1869)
Britten, Benjamin (November 22, 1913 – December 4, 1976)
Brubeck, Dave (December 6, 1920 - )
Carmichael, Hoagy (November 22, 1899–December 27, 1981)
Hendrix, Jimmy (November 27, 1942 - 18 September, 1970)
Jones, Spike (December 14, 1911 - May 1, 1965)
Kenton, Stan (December 15, 1911 - August 25, 1979)
Kodály, Zoltán (December 16, 1882 – March 6, 1967)
Messiaen, Olivier (December 10, 1908 – April 27, 1992)
Morrison, Jim (December 8, 1943 – July 3, 1971)
O'list, David (December 13, 1948 - )
Osbourne, Ozzy (December 3, 1948 - )
Pastorius, Jaco (December 1, 1951 – September 21, 1987)
Rodrigo, Joaquín (22 November 1901 – 6 July 1999)
Rubinstein, Anton (November 28, 1829 – November 20, 1894)
Schuller, Gunter (November 22, 1925 - )
Shaffer, Paul (November 28, 1949 - )
Sibelius, Jean (December 8, 1865 – September 20, 1957)
Sinatra, Frank (December 12, 1915 - May 14, 1998)
Smith, Jimmy (December 8, 1925 - February 8, 2005)
Strayhorn, Billy (November 29, 1915 - May 31, 1967)
Tureck, Rosalyn (December 14, 1914 - July 17, 2003)
Waits, Tom (December 7, 1949 - )
Zappa, Frank (December 21, 1940 - December 4, 1993)

Other Interesting Sagittarians
Blake, William (November 28, 1757 – August 21, 1827)
Bundy, Theodore Robert "Ted" (November 24, 1946 – January 24, 1989)
Clarke, Arthur C (December 19, 1917 - )
Disney, Walt (December 5, 1901 – December 15, 1966)
Gilliam, Terry (November 22, 1940 - )
Marx, Harpo (November 23, 1888 – September 28, 1964)
Nero (December 15, 37AD – June 9, 68AD),
Nostradamus (December 14, 1503 – July 1, 1566)
Scott, Ridley (November 30, 1937 - )
Twain, Mark (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910)
Vampira (Actress Maila Nurmi, December 21, 1921 - )

Interesting Events - December 16
1773 - The Boston Tea Party
1893 - World premiere of Antonin Dvorak's "New World Symphony"

Sunrise or Sunset?